Just catchin' up

Hey so to anyone who reads this, I am sorry that I haven't blogged in a while! I never have to time to blog because of my crazy busy schedule! I have school, crew, homework, regatta every other Saturday, more homework, and I try to spend at least some time with my friends, boyfriend, and family. Whew! But on the upside, after all of the arguments and the drama and the ugly near breakup, I am back with Michael and we are basically 100x better than we were, which is nice. It is still hard and we have some ugly moments occasionally, but that comes with stress and exhaustion. Like when we just spend time together, we are really happy. Did I mention that on April 9th, we will have been together for two years? Yeah, I am excited! And if you want to know the full story of what happened, then I will tell you personally, not online where anyone and everyone could read it. Anyway, sorry about the rambling about Michael. Now on to other things, well school is just terrible right now and crew is getting really tough because we are getting prepared for our next couple regattas and then regionals which are the middle of May. Random fact, I got my hair cut! Incase you didn't already know. It is so short now! Some people didn't notice, but I cut off several inches and I notice a huuuuuuge difference! Before:



And after:


Anyway, so other than cutting my hair, which isn't really that big of a deal, but I just realized that it takes up a huge part of this blog, nothing too much is new. I've now had my license for 6 weeks! I can listen to the radio now!! Haha it's not the law, but my mom's rule was that I wasn't allowed to listen to the radio for the first 6 weeks of having my license while I was driving alone. Anyway, on the more negative side, I am still not sleeping and it is getting worse, which has a put a HUGE negative effect on my schoolwork, so that really stinks a lot.

So overall, my life is really not interesting right now!! I just haven't blogged in a little while and I had a little bit of time so I decided that I should write a new post on my blog.

Oh and I did have my first regatta of spring season last Saturday! It was at Lake Stevens, which is about an hour north of Seattle. It wasn't much fun at first because we had to be there super early, as in we had to leave Olympia by 3:30 in the morning! So that wasn't much fun. And then I was pretty sick all morning, but the races went pretty well. Even though the water was pretty much the worst water we had ever rowed on and the wind was monstrous and it was freezing and races had to be shortened by a ton, our OAR club overall did very well! Most of the juniors were in a race that at least placed, and many of the juniors did get first place! So that was exciting. It was a long day, as in I was up for 23 hours, but it was pretty good and it went pretty well.

But I'll just say, Happy St. Patricks Day (a little late!) I hope you all wore green! Well until I can think of something new and exciting to say, I'm going to call it a night. Oh, but my thoughts go out to that woman and her son whose van got stuck and the little 8 year old boy drowned and drifted 12 miles before his body was found and the mother is still missing. Very very very tragic story! And very scary, expecially since I go near that beach where it happened every day! Anyway, good night folks!

Can you say...too much on one plate?

So I haven't been blogging lately, and I apologize to anyone who actually follows my blog. I've been incredicbly distracted lately! This may be too personal to put online, but it goes anyway. So as you know, I've been dealing with depression for about five years now. And now lately, I'm also dealing with insomnia. It is so great, I never ever get sleep. So my lack of sleep results in falling behind in school, falling asleep in all my classes, teachers making comments on me looking very tired, not doing so well at crew, being very tired 24-7, my immune system failing, having other health problems, losing my mental sanity, randomly getting upset or angry at little things, plus a whole other myriad of tons of other awful results from not sleeping. I do believe that part of it is because I for one, don't get home now on school days until about 6:20, 2, I am a major procrastinator, and 3, I am a perfectionist. I have to get my homework done and I will not go to bed until it is all done or else I just feel awful about it. So now I am starting to just crash and have the worst breakdown of my life. I can't handle everything that I've put on my plate. I have extremely difficult classes that I am taking this year, I have to go crew 5 days a week after school until about 5:45, I have been fighting with my boyfriend about everything because he is extremely stressed out and depressed too because of his crisis (shouldn't have mentioned that), and crew has completely taken away any social life that I had because of practices and now regattas on the weekend. I mean for one my regattas, we will be down in Eugene, Oregon, and I am going to miss my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, which was really, really important to both of us. And now they are saying that as crew goes on, the weeks will be much more difficult for regionals and then potentially nationals. Plus to add to that, we will probably be having morning practices too! That means before school! Ugh. It's all so much to handle. So after crew every day, I have to shower and have dinner, and by then it's about 7:30, and then I have about 4-6 hours of homework. It's so hard and basically impossible to manage! But I can't tell anyone that I want to quit.
And now even at home, I get in trouble because I dont go to bed. It's not because I dont have my homework done, it's because I dont go to bed. But I can't go to bed unless everything is done. And I have to do chores too. I sometimes feel like I can try and try and since I have so much piled up, that I am just not good enough. I need help. But then again, I really don't like talking to a counselor. I really just don't like talking about my problems with people I don't know very well. It's just so hard.
So I am sorry if that was too personal, I just needed to get it off my chest, and I think there are only liek 1 or 2 people that actually read my blog. Anyway, it's midnight and I still have lots of homework to finish. So goodbye for now!

Out on the road!

Well whew! Finals are over! But now back to reality...normal classes, normal days, normal homework! Ugh. But on the upside....A. I did pretty well on most of my finals and B. I HAVE MY LICENSE!!!!! It was pretty scary getting my license and then just about 45 minutes later driving out to the westside by myself, but I made it just fine! Since then, I have been driving quite a bit! It is so nice having my license. So Friday, I was babysitting. Saturday, I had a little party to celebrate my birthday, and then today I went to a superbowl party with Michael and his family. Pretty good weekend I must say, but now it is after midnight and I still have to finish my paper for english and take a shower. But I have no idea what to write about. Geeze, my english teacher, Mrs. Violette, never gives us a darn break! It's the weekend after finals! I didn't have homework in any other classes! Anyway, I have to work on that and then get to bed. Other catching up...my dad and Miles came home on Friday night after being in Texas for two weeks. It was really hard. My grandpa's funeral was actually Friday morning and it sounds like it was just plain awful....we are still having a rough time, especially my dad. Anyway...I think that that is all the latest for now. Oh, and my best friend Amber turns 16 in 8 hours and 10 miunutes! She is so excited and I am so excited for her! Happy Birthday Amber! Ok all, or no one, any one who actually reads this, nighty night!

Just in general...things you ought to know

So my full name is Cierra Jade Pendleton. I was born on January 21, 1994 down in Texas, where my dad's side of my family lives. I moved to Flordia when I was about two, and then about two years after that, I moved up here to Olympia Washington. So now, I'm 16, getting my license VERY soon, and am just trying to make it through highschool. My favorite things? I really enjoy rowing... (My grandparents and their quad!, I love writing, I love my friends, I love sweets, I enjoy bike riding and hiking, and I love to sing and go crazy. One of my biggest downfalls however is that I suffer from depression and also insomnia. I've suffered from terrible depression since about 5th grade and I've slightly more recently been suffering from insomnia (well I think it's insomnia. I haven't actually been like "diagnosed" or anything, but right now it's actually 1 in the morning! And finals start tomorrow! Well, today!). So I recently turned 16, which I am very excited about. Oh, important things to mention...my family. They are my world. They are obnoxious, but they've always got my back whenever I need help and they are all so understanding. My best friend Amber Nicole Stanley...I've known her since, I think, 3rd grade, but we have only really been best friends for the past three or four years or so. My boyfriend Michael Thomas Snodgrass...he is amazing to me and I really enjoy being with him. In fact on April 9th (which is coming up in about 2 months!), I will have been dating him for two whole years! But he is my light, my world, my heart, and I can trust him with literally anything. We spend hours on the phone and we can talk about basically anything!
My sister Breanna Kate Pendleton...I miss her so much. Although we aren't too close, we get along amazingly and I truly love her. She has helped me through some tough situations and she is always there for me. It's hard to have her going to college across the country (She goes to Colgate University, in New York). We've had some really good times and I know (At least I hope) that we will continue to make memories together throughout our whole lives.
I guess I can't forget my brother Miles. He is 14, in eigth grade, and quite the little bugger to be around (personal opinion). I guess though no matter how much he bugs me sometimes, I still love him.

One last thing...I can't not add Luna! She is our greyhound! She is a wonderful dog, very loving. She can be quite the pest though because she absolutely LOVES food, LOVES to go for walks, and she is always in your business and trying to get you to pet her. We rescued her from the race track a little over two years ago and now she is 7 years old. And we all love her.
Anway, about me? I row every day and I go to school. That is pretty much my life right now. I work hard because of my school schedule and it gets really tough sometimes. This year, I'm taking Biology, Womens' Choir, Honors English 10, Honors Algebra 2 (Algebra 2 and Precalculas all in one!), French 2, and AP World History. Plus I work out three days a week, but starting in two weeks, we will be back out on the water for crew, 5 days a week. It's hectic, but I make it through.
Yes, so random facts...I love music. I basically always have my ipod. And I love sweets. I am always cold!! I get sick a lot. I never sleep. I love meeting new people. I keep all of my ticket stubs from movies and events that I go to. I love flowers. I love drawing and singing. And I really miss my family in Texas, and I am really going to miss my grandpa Beau Pendleton ( R.I.P Bobo!!!). Anyway, it's almost 1:30 in the morning and I figure that's probably enough information about me, at least for now. So I should go study and try to get at least some sleep for yucky blucky finals, which start tomorrow, well actually today. So goodbye all, or no one....please comment if you read this so that I know that I'm not just talking to myself.

Please keep my family in mind!

So my first blog...I'm not quite sure what to say. I'm not sure who will read this, or if anyone will ever read this, but I just want to get my thoughts out.
So my grandfather, Beau Pendleton, has been suffering from cancer for a very long, long time, and he very early this morning, he lost his battle against cancer with some of his family by his side in a hospital in Forthworth, Texas. I hate that I missed it and that I am going to miss the funeral. This has been very difficult on all of us, but we all know that he is in a much better place now. For years now, he has just been escalading steeply downhill, and he finally had to give in early this morning. He had had multiple bone marrow transplants over the last few years that should have killed him but didn't. Then when we got a call last Sunday that this was the end, my dad and my brother rushed down there to say goodbye. He rallied though. He was better, then much worse. Then he got a little better, and then even more worse off. And then Friday night, he got the "death look" because he was breathing only 4 or 5 times a minute and his throat was making odd noises, that his doctor said he sees in patients that are within minutes of death. And for days, he had just been in a ball and screaming out in pain. But Saturday he was a little better again...his breathing was more normal, his blood pressure was normal (well as normal as it could be for an old man who is very very sick). However, on Sunday, he was the worst he had ever been and since he was in so much pain, they put him on a morphine drip. The doctors said that that would kill him within 6 to 48 hours. Then early this morning, we got the call that he was gone.
I know that he is in a better place now because he is not in all that pain anymore, but it is still very very difficult. Anyway, that's it for now...time to go study for finals! Oh yucky!