Can you say...too much on one plate?

So I haven't been blogging lately, and I apologize to anyone who actually follows my blog. I've been incredicbly distracted lately! This may be too personal to put online, but it goes anyway. So as you know, I've been dealing with depression for about five years now. And now lately, I'm also dealing with insomnia. It is so great, I never ever get sleep. So my lack of sleep results in falling behind in school, falling asleep in all my classes, teachers making comments on me looking very tired, not doing so well at crew, being very tired 24-7, my immune system failing, having other health problems, losing my mental sanity, randomly getting upset or angry at little things, plus a whole other myriad of tons of other awful results from not sleeping. I do believe that part of it is because I for one, don't get home now on school days until about 6:20, 2, I am a major procrastinator, and 3, I am a perfectionist. I have to get my homework done and I will not go to bed until it is all done or else I just feel awful about it. So now I am starting to just crash and have the worst breakdown of my life. I can't handle everything that I've put on my plate. I have extremely difficult classes that I am taking this year, I have to go crew 5 days a week after school until about 5:45, I have been fighting with my boyfriend about everything because he is extremely stressed out and depressed too because of his crisis (shouldn't have mentioned that), and crew has completely taken away any social life that I had because of practices and now regattas on the weekend. I mean for one my regattas, we will be down in Eugene, Oregon, and I am going to miss my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, which was really, really important to both of us. And now they are saying that as crew goes on, the weeks will be much more difficult for regionals and then potentially nationals. Plus to add to that, we will probably be having morning practices too! That means before school! Ugh. It's all so much to handle. So after crew every day, I have to shower and have dinner, and by then it's about 7:30, and then I have about 4-6 hours of homework. It's so hard and basically impossible to manage! But I can't tell anyone that I want to quit.
And now even at home, I get in trouble because I dont go to bed. It's not because I dont have my homework done, it's because I dont go to bed. But I can't go to bed unless everything is done. And I have to do chores too. I sometimes feel like I can try and try and since I have so much piled up, that I am just not good enough. I need help. But then again, I really don't like talking to a counselor. I really just don't like talking about my problems with people I don't know very well. It's just so hard.
So I am sorry if that was too personal, I just needed to get it off my chest, and I think there are only liek 1 or 2 people that actually read my blog. Anyway, it's midnight and I still have lots of homework to finish. So goodbye for now!